Annaka Read online

  “Of course,” Tia replied, not even giving me a second glance because of my name change. I appreciated that more than she knew. “Your grandfather meant a lot to this community and to this town. Hell, half the high school will be there—all his students. Everybody knew him, everybody loved him, and everybody will want to show their respects.”

  “Thank you.”

  I looked up to see the stars bright and alive, not shying away from light pollution. In Halifax that was a sight we could never see.

  “It’s been a while since I’ve seen that.” I soaked it in.

  Tia rested a hand on my shoulder. “Welcome home, Anna.” She was quiet for a minute and then turned to me with a devilish grin. “I know you’re going through a lot right now. And a real friend raids their parents’ liquor cabinet for a pal who needs a drink. You game?”

  I let out a laugh. Tia was always ridiculous. I was glad to see time hadn’t changed that.

  “Let’s go,” I said.

  When we made it to Tia’s place, she parked the car outside of the garage and took a breath. I remember how by the book her parents were—always followed the rules very closely. Tia was one who would always bend them. It’s safe to say she didn’t really take after her parents too much.

  “Feeling like a people person today?” she asked.

  “Can’t say I am,” I replied honestly.

  “Well, I’ll need you to distract my parents while I raid the liquor cabinet. Just be cool. Tell them about Halifax.” Tia smiled. “Since you’re a city girl now.”

  I shook my head and sighed. Tia had always been braver than me. I let my imagination do most of the scheming while she was more about the groundwork. As soon as we got out of the car, Tia grabbed my hand and made her way towards the front door.

  “Hey! Look who I found!” She busted through the front door, pushing me to the forefront.

  Tia’s mother, Clare, turned around on the couch and squinted. “Annaka, is that you?”

  “Hi, Clare,” I said with a smile. Clare stood up and pulled me into a hug as Tia made her way out of sight.

  “Oh, dear,” Clare said as she let go. “I’m so happy to see you, but I’m sorry about the circumstances.”

  “Thank you, Clare. I didn’t expect to see you—or Tia—tonight. How are you?”

  “I’ve been good.” She smiled. “I just can’t believe how fast you and Tia grew up. Time is escaping us.”

  She was right about that. “And how’s Jonathan?”

  “I’ll let you see for yourself. Jonathan, come see who turned up at the door!” Clare called.

  “I’m coming, I’m coming,” I heard as a tall black man in plaid made his way past the living room. A smile cracked his face when he saw me. Both of Tia’s parents presented as black, though Jonathan was mixed. Jonathan’s mother, Lillian, was black. And his father, Ben, was a white man. Both Tia and my families held a close generational bond through the years. We were basically one big family.

  “Annaka.” Jonathan gave me a hug. “Come sit down, do you want a coffee?”

  “No thanks—bit late for that,” I declined. “And actually, it’s just Anna now. But I could use a seat after today.”

  In the kitchen Jonathan made a coffee for himself. Then he turned to me and said, “I’m going to miss your grandfather. I love him and I always will. He left behind a beautiful family of strong people.”

  In a way it felt awkward, because I wasn’t quite sure what to say. I hadn’t lost anyone before, so this was all new to me. “Thank you,” I said quietly.

  “How’s Jayla?” Clare asked. “We’re all rooting for her down here. I heard she took a leaf out of Rudy’s book and teaches now.”

  “Yeah,” I replied. “Everyone knows Mom in Halifax. She’s always being featured in articles or stories, and has her worked showcased all the time.”

  Being the daughter of a sought-after artist wasn’t exactly an easy task. I wasn’t Anna Brooks; I was The Daughter of Jayla Brooks. I didn’t hold resentment because of that. I was just tired and wanted to be my own person, form my own identity. But when your mom is a nationally recognized art superstar, it isn’t exactly easy to find your own voice.

  “That’s great to hear.” Clare sounded proud. “She left here with so little, and made so much of herself. She was always so driven and strong, and I can see it in you.”

  Everyone always expected me to follow in my Mom’s footsteps, and that weighed on me. I had great grades in school, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my future. I wanted to use this summer to find a job and save up money for university; I was hoping I’d find my path through there. But I learned that plans can change in a blink of an eye.

  “I’m still trying to find what direction I want to go in,” I replied.

  “Go wherever your heart tells you,” Jonathan said.

  Such generic advice didn’t really help. But then again, Jonathan was a real sitcom kind of dad.

  I heard a door slam, followed by Tia entering the room wearing a baggy hoodie and coming straight towards me.

  “Yo! Glad y’all had a chance to catch up with Anna, but I’m going to be stealing her now. Thanks for coming to the party.”

  “Aha. Don’t stay up too late, you two. Good to see you,” Jonathan said, smiling at me.

  I smiled back.

  Tia took me downstairs to the basement. When we got down the steps, I was immediately hopped on by something big and furry. It was a big brown, black, and white dog.

  “Woah! Calm down, big guy,” I said as I gently let him down.

  “And that’s Taz. You probably remember him as a pup.” Tia petted him. “Who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy.” The dog barked like a good boy.

  I remember Tia took Taz in right before Mom and I left. Tia had found him as a puppy; he had been wandering alone in the parking lot of a grocery store, abandoned. Tia had always had a soft spot for puppies. It didn’t take long for her parents to come around, and just like that, Taz had a new home. He probably didn’t remember me, but I’m sure he was just excited to see someone new. I stood up to see that the basement had been transformed to look more like a small apartment. There was a carpet underneath a sofa and reclining chair with bright red and green Christmas lights stapled to the walls. It was spring, but I guess Tia had free rein to let her imagination go.

  “Make yourself at home. My parents let me live down here now instead of that small bedroom on the top floor,” Tia explained.

  “This place is pretty lit,” I admired. “So, what’d you get?”

  Tia pulled a bottle of rum from her baggy hoodie. “Score! There’s some cola and glasses down here, sit tight.”

  I sat on the chair, Taz flopped down below me, and I admired Tia’s set-up. I couldn’t believe she still had a CD player; I looked at her collection and it was full of bands I’d never heard of before. Before long she came back with two drinks and handed me one.

  “Hey, who are these bands?” I asked.

  “Oh, those ones? Just local bands. I buy their merch when I can. Maybe someday they’ll make it big and I can sell their crappy first EP and get rich. You never know when you’re sitting on gold.” She shrugged.

  I sipped my drink and sat back in the chair. I wasn’t a big drinker.

  “So…how is Halifax anyways? A big city girl returning to her small hometown must have stories.”

  I laughed. “Halifax isn’t a big city, but if you’re into hipster cafés, craft beer, and gentrified neighbourhoods, you can check it out.” I paused. “Not much has changed here. I’m happy to come back somewhere that’s easier.”

  Tia cocked an eyebrow. “Easier? In what way?”

  “In Halifax everyone cares too much about what everyone else is doing, thinking, who everyone was friends with. I was lucky to keep my head low.”

  “Must’ve been hard w
hen your Mom is Jayla Brooks.”

  “Yeah, it was. Everyone would always have this large expectation of me. When you have a parent who’s well known, I guess it makes it harder to find your own way.”

  “Why do you say that?” Tia asked.

  I have to say, I appreciated the bluntness Tia offered. Most of the time I find myself cautious about opening up, and it was nice having someone who just wanted to skip right to the point. Even after ten years, she was super easy to talk to.

  “Everyone thought I wanted to follow in her footsteps. But I want to be the main character of my own story. I want to have my own great journey.” I paused and shook my head. “Maybe that’s egoistic, I don’t know.”

  “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. What are you looking forward to while being back?” she asked. “Stupid question,” she cut back in. “You’re here out of grief, not on a vacation.”

  “To be honest, with how my nan is doing, I don’t know. I think I’d rather head back to Halifax. I got a life to pursue, and I was hoping this summer could be the stepping stone for it all.”

  “What kind of stepping stone?”

  “Y’know, saving money. Next year is grade twelve, so I guess I wanted to be a step ahead for college. But then this happened and it shook everything up.”

  “Well, if you’re here for a while then you’re always welcome here,” Tia smiled.

  I took a swig of the drink and smiled back. “So what have you been up to, Tia Evans? What’s life been like in Yarmouth?”

  “That’s a good one.” Tia shrugged. “I guess everyone is kinda like you: they wanna save up money, go to college, and leave town.”

  “How about you?”

  “Not quite my plan, I guess. As small as this town is, I love it here. I don’t want to be thought less of for wanting to stay, y’know?”

  “I get that.” I immediately felt bad for telling her my plan. I loved Yarmouth too, but the idea of staying here seemed impossible, even as I was stuck there.

  “Well, what do you wanna do?” I followed up.

  “I wanna create a music festival!” She sat up with bright eyes. “I want to create a reason for more people to come down here, and stay hopefully. The music scene here comes and goes, but I want to build some type of longevity, y’know?”

  I smiled at that. “What are steps are you taking?”

  “I started reading lots on music business and grant writing. I’m hoping to get something going by next summer, even if it’s small. Gotta start small before we get big, right?”

  “That’s the spirit.” I smiled.

  I looked across at the CD player; beneath there was a frame and inside there was a picture of Tia and Jonathan. Jonathan looking proper, smiling at the camera while Tia had her tongue sticking out with two peace signs up in the air.

  “I’m wondering if my dad is still in town,” I said. “I never met him. But I do know that Yarmouth is too small a town to be surrounded by strangers.”

  Then I paused. I don’t know why I had to say that out loud. God, I hadn’t even been here for twenty-four hours and I had already let that cat out of the bag.

  Tia looked at me with non-judgmental eyes and asked, “Do you think about your dad a lot?”

  “I mean, sure. As much as anyone else who hasn’t grown up with a father. Christmas, birthdays, Thanksgiving, Father’s Day. Every time I get into an argument with Mom.” I usually wouldn’t say things like that out loud, but Tia made me feel like I could. But that didn’t mean an awkward silence didn’t fill the air.

  “Sorry if that’s kind of a lot,” I said, embarrassed. Sure, Tia made me feel like I could be open but I forgot I hadn’t seen her in ages; dropping heavy shit on her like that probably wasn’t always welcome.

  “No, not at all. Don’t worry about it, Anna,” Tia reassured me. “Those feelings are real and honest. I think it’s natural to think of that when coming back. It’s the town where you’re from, but also where he’s from too. I’m sorry if there isn’t much I can offer, but if things ever get heavy at home, you can crash here. This place is a lot bigger than my old bedroom. And besides, company is nice.”

  “Just like when we were kids,” I mentioned. “You still hang with our crew? Laura, Taylor, Lucy?” To be fair, they were never “our crew” as much as they were Tia’s. They kind of thought I was weird. I guess maybe I was. I mean, I was the only one who never outgrew my imaginary friend.

  “Yeah, we’re still all pretty close,” Tia said as she got up and stretched. “I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you if you stick around.”

  I lay back in my seat—I didn’t realize how tired I was, but it had been a long day. The Christmas lights Tia had up were a nice touch.

  I closed my eyes, but heard Tia messing around with her CD player, and music began to fill the air. A low melody broke the silence. There is always something intimate about finding out what music your friends listen to. Sharing music was sharing the rhythms and beats that got you through difficult times. I took another drink. I pretended the lights above my head were stars in the sky. I thought about the idea of heaven and wondered if Grampy was there. I didn’t believe any of that stuff, but the thought was nice; if heaven were real, I would want Grampy to be comfortable there. I guess I was worried in a weird way. I didn’t like the idea of Grampy just not existing anymore.

  “Do you believe in heaven?” I asked out of the blue.

  Tia sat up; the question caught her off guard.

  “Okay, that one is kinda heavy,” she said. She turned down the music with a remote. “Uh…I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “Meaning?”

  “I don’t think so, no. But it’s not something I would ever say to my grandmother. Being black and being an atheist aren’t really two things that mix well, if you get what I mean.”

  I nodded. “I feel that.”

  She had a point. Sometimes being black and being a non-believer didn’t sit well with the elders. Often, it’s a conversation that never happens because we never know what will happen if we decide to bring it up. Grampy didn’t believe in God. He didn’t talk about that much, but that didn’t stop Nan from dragging him to church often.

  “What do you think?” Tia asked. “You think there’s something after all of this?”

  “If we’re lucky then maybe it’s a bottomless ball pit in a burger joint,” I joked to break the tension.

  Tia giggled. “You always had weird thoughts.”

  “What do you mean, weird thoughts?”

  “I mean, dude, you were the only kid who had an imaginary friend when we were young. What was his name? Clay?”

  I hadn’t heard anyone say his name out loud in years. I was surprised Tia remembered.

  “Yeah, Clay. How do you remember that?”

  “This is super dorky,” she said with a chuckle. “Be right back.” She left the room.

  I waited, unsure what she was doing. I took another sip and Tia returned with a dusty shoebox. She blew the dust into the air around us.

  “This,” she whispered, “contains secrets from the past.”

  Tia placed the shoebox on the table and opened it up. She began taking things out of the box:

  A rubber band ball.

  “Wow, I always wanted one of these,” I said, reaching for it.

  “Too bad, it’s mine,” she said, moving it away.

  A piece of paper with a heart on it.

  “Ooohhh, what’s that?” I asked swiping it out of her hand.

  “Hey! Give that back!”

  I opened it up before she could grab it.

  All it read was: Bee Mine. It was a Valentine with a heart-shaped beehive in the background. It was signed by Bobby Noah.

  “Ooohhh, Bobby from elementary!” I teased. “You had such a crush on him.”

  Tia swiped the Valenti
ne from my hands and threw it back in the shoebox.

  “Yeah, before I realized that all men are trash.”

  “What’s he up to nowadays?”

  “Just being a douchebag on the football team. We, well…actually, we went to a dance together recently.”

  I glanced at her. “Juicy.”

  She snorted. “It really wasn’t. He only went with me to make his ex feel jealous. It was bad enough he asked me how many guys ‘I’ve been with.’” She rolled her eyes. “Which is none of his business. I just felt super used. And I caught him making out with his ex outside later that night.”

  “Oh, dude. I’m so sorry.” I lowered my shoulders. Why are teenage guys such disappointments?

  “Don’t be,” she cut in. “I made sure he got his.”

  There was the Tia I knew and loved. “Oh yeah? What did you do?”

  “Well, I walked away in a mood. He followed me like, ‘Wait, wait, Tia, it meant nothing!’ He grabbed my arm then I turned around. Kicked him in the nuts in front of everyone and yelled, ‘I hope you get kidney stones, douchebag!’”

  I couldn’t contain my laughter. God, I had missed Tia. She started laughing too.

  “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met,” I told her.

  “I’m all right,” she replied with a shrug and a grin. She took a sip of her drink. “But that story is besides the point.” She reached into the shoebox and took out a piece of loose-leaf and showed me.

  “You drew this the week you left. I held on to it.”

  She handed me the piece of paper. I unfolded it to see it was drawing of Tia, Clay, and I standing in front of my tree house.

  I had drawn myself with long braids and brown skin with goggles; Tia had long black hair, brown skin, and a cape. Clay was bald and grey. I had totally forgotten I drew that for her.

  “Wow,” I said, looking at her. “I can’t believe you held on to this.”

  “Yeah, I’m one of those sentimental people. I like to hold on to the past as much as I can.”

  I smiled. “I’m really glad I ran into you today.”

  Tia smiled back, turned up the music, and poured me another drink.

  The drinks led to laughter and memories. It was exactly what I needed. I needed a friend that day—someone who remembered me. I’m glad it was Tia. I just wanted to feel connected somehow, after all the years that had passed. I guess someone did remember me.